Pukie the Clown, How I have missed thee

So as of last Friday, I've thrown my whole mass gain program out the window. I had a "wow, I'm getting fat" moment last week that acted as an impetus. Now, I realize that significant mass gain is impossible without some fat gain. However, when I had this moment, I had spent a little over 5 weeks with nothing but mass gain in mind and had managed to gain nearly 22 pounds with very little fat gain. I was already well beyond my original goal (175 lbs... to gain 12-14 lbs in 6 weeks), and the whole mass gain routine was getting old. I was happy with my progress, and it was time to actually get into shape.

So Friday morning I got up at 6 AM to hit the gym (It's a lot easier to get up when you're going with a cute girl). I decided to do some 1RM testing and started with cleans. The last time I had done cleans of any kind, which was about 3 weeks prior, I would struggle to power clean anything over 100. If I had to guess my 1RM at the time, it could not have been anything over 115. Friday morning, I successfully cleaned 135, though my form was terrible. It was really a power clean immediately followed by a front squat. I tried 140 and managed to get the bar up and rack it, but I lost my balance at the bottom of the squat and fell forward. I also managed a 115 lb standing press and a 160 (I think) push jerk. All in all, I was still getting stronger on the performance menu hypertrophy cycle, but I didn't feel any more explosive at all on the cleans, though my squatting was better.

Saturday I picked up Crossfit again. I plan on following the 3 on, 1 off cycle, with two of the three days being high intensity metcon type stuff (Lots of "the girls"), and the remaining day being max or high effort strength work. On Saturday I started with Fran (21-15-9, pull-ups and 95# thrusters), and finished in absolutely horrific 15:30. The 95# thrusters killed me. But considering 95lbs is probably ~50% of 1 RM front squat, that is no surprise. By the end of the first set, I was doing them only 3 or 4 at a time. The pull-ups were no problem, I feel like if I weren't so smoked from the thrusters I could have finished all the sets unbroken. Instead the 21-15-9 got broken into 12,9-8,7-5,4. Again, pulling strength was never an issue, I was just flat winded. Sunday I started with some deadlifts and bench presses. 2x5 @ 215 DL and 5x6 @ 185 BP was the name of the game. Definitely felt strong on the bench despite neglecting chest work for a while. Then did some ab work and tried my own variation of this core strength workout. I don't have access to kettlebells, so I used a 35# dumbbell. Needless to say, despite looking simple, it's brutal. My variations to it included snatching from the floor instead of a hang, skipping the squat and press after the snatch, and extending the weight behind my head to the floor before switching hands. None of this was done for any real reason; I just couldn't remember the exact details of the workout when I was at the gym. Finished up the day with a 500 m row in 1:50. Started at a 1:30 pace, but by the end was huffing and puffing at a 2:15ish pace. I almost got a visit from Pukie after the row, but managed to keep my lunch down.

I'm about to leave for the gym, probably to take a swing at Jackie (1000 m row, 50 45# thrusters, 30 pull ups).

Update: Went to the gym, warmed up a little, did the 1000m row in 3:56. I then decided to bail because a) my quads decided they hated me and began to burn like an oil field, b) The tacos I had just an hour earlier were trying to escape, c) I wanted to use this workout as a benchmark to work up from, but there was no way my time would reflect my actual level of fitness in my current state. Instead of finishing Jackie, I did some real light core work with a dumbbell, and then got on the bike for 20 minutes. Instead of going all out like I usually do, I kept my HR around 150-170. This lead to an interesting sensation that is hard to describe; I was not winded at all, yet I felt strangely worked out.

I'm a fatkid

I've managed to make it up to 183.5 lbs. I am amazed I am still gaining weight so fast... about 4 lbs in 9 days still. Most people on steroids don't gain weight that fast. Last week I said I'd start doing conditioning work and cutting once I hit 185, but at this point, I am tempted to push that to 190. However, I think I am going to resist that urge and sticking to the 185 point. I've been starting to feel sluggish, fat, and slow. The lack of cardio/metcon is starting to catch up with me, and I think the heavy diet is slowing me down too. Not to mention I've been using the mass gain mantra of "Sleep big" as an excuse to stay in bed till noon and skip half my classes.
In light of all this, I am going to finish out the hypertrophy cycle of the Performance Menu mass gain program (I am in the middle of the 3rd of 4 weeks), then go ahead and get on a leaner diet and shift my goals. By then I'm going to guess that I'll probably be at least 186-187.

I was planning on ranting about people who wear underarmor to the gym, but I decided to clean the shower in the middle of this post and have become too tired and lazy to do so.

When my cat curls up to sleep, sometimes he lays on his side and his hind paws kind of stick out. When he does this, he looks like a big, furry shrimp.

First post! Oh wait, this isn't slashdot...

Sigh. It's finally happened. After nearly a decade of kicking and screaming, I've finally sold my soul and entered the 'blogosphere.' Wow, I actually just typed that word... Excuse me while I go throw up.

Ok, I'm back. So I set this thing up, because I was bored and I couldn't sleep, with the intention of using it to document my trials and tribulations in the world of fitness, much like my friend Jake's blog (He runs a gym.). Truth be told, it is likely to descend into arbitrary rants and commentary on college football. So in light of this, I'll go ahead and declare that I am just going to write whatever the hell I feel like writing at any given moment.

On a completely unrelated matter, and in an effort to link to as many other blogs as possible in this first update, I'm going to note that I'm pretty sure that I ripped off my title from my friend Richie's blog. But I am entirely unapologetic.

In the spirit of the original intent of this blog, I'll tell you a little bit about where I stand in my lifting endeavors. On March 17th, I started going back to the gym for the first time in about 2 or 3 months, and the first time since summer with any regularity. When I went to the gym that day I was 162 lbs, which is a respectable weight for me (I am 5'10"), but below my previous high weight of 168, despite being at slightly higher body fat. More importantly, I was astoundingly weak. I knew I'd be weaker with all the time off I had, but my showing that day was just sad.

Four weeks later, on Monday the 14th, things had quickly improved. First off, I was up 179 lbs, thanks to some big lifts, whole milk, creatine, protein shakes, and plenty of fat-calories. Mind you, I'm sure a good 7-8lbs of that weight gain is just water weight retained because of the creatine. However, take that away and I've still got a solid 9-10lbs of real mass gain in four weeks. I think if I can step up the nutrition and get plenty of sleep, I could hit 185 before the end of April. Its amazing what squats and deadlifts can do; last time I was trying seriously to gain weight, I was 168 and struggling to gain a single pound. Of course, at that time, I wholly neglected any lower-body or core-strength exercise. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble and should probably get some sleep. However, I am currently more excited about lifting/fitness than I have ever been. Once I hit 185, I think I'll try and cut down to 8% bodyfat, and get serious about O-lifts and metcon, probably get back into crossfit too.